Every parent has said this a few times!
“Look At Me!”
It is one of the most common phrases we use when trying to get someones’ attention.
For some, it even brings up emotional reactions. Like those when your mother would call you by your full name.
But the truth is, it is simply a way of getting the other person to pay attention to what you are saying. And this is the point of this blog.
If I call my dog, and he (or she) ignores me, this is disrespectful. And without respect, it’s very difficult to establish boundaries.
Last night I was teaching a puppy class, and working with a young handler Crystal. Crystal had a small breed, and was trying to get her dog, Pluto, to listen to her. Except Pluto was more concerned about the other dogs, people, smells, kids, shopping bags, etc. You guessed it, anything except Mom.
Part of the problem here is that the dog is also insecure, and becomes defensive whenever anyone is close by.
So the situation develops like this:
Dog looks around. Mom stresses out.
Dog sees “danger”. Mom stresses more.
Dog becomes defensive. Mom stresses more.
Dog growls at “threat”. Mom tries to calm dog.
Dog tries to pull away from mom. Mom stresses more.
Dog runs behind mom. Mom cannot see dog.
Dog growls at “threat” again.
Mom leaves with dog.
This is not a good thing. Lets look at the issue:
- First, mom is stressed beyond breaking point. (Have you ever felt that with your dog?)
- Second, dog thinks everyone is out to get him.
Can we blame mom? After all, she is trying to control her dog. Or is this the dogs fault?
Actually the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Mom needs help, and Pluto needs to trust Mom.
I believe that 80% of dog owners need education in understanding their dogs.
Pluto is struggling with insecurity based defense. He sees a threat in everything. He is scared, and his way of dealing with this is to display aggression.
Crystal needs to take control and be a parent. That means Pluto needs to learn to trust that mom will protect him; but also that mom is the leader. He needs to pay more attention to her and less to his surroundings.
This is where “Look at me” comes in.
Teach your dog to focus on you, by building the behavior using food or treats.
- Step 1: Start by using their meal. At dinner time, instead of giving them a bowl of food, take a piece of kibble, tell your dog to SIT and give them the piece of kibble. Wait a few seconds and repeat. Do it until you have given them at least a dozen kibbles.
- Step 2: Hold the next kibble to your face, and wait for your dog to look at you. The instant they make eye contact, say YESSS! and give them the kibble. Do this at least a dozen times.
- Step 3: Take the kibble, hold it to your face, step backwards and say WATCH. You dog should follow and will probably sit. If not, be patient! Lure them by offering the kibble, then bring it back to your face. When they come to you, sit, look up and make eye contact, say YESSS! and give them the treat. (Instead of WATCH, you can also use the command, LOOK or FOCUS.)
Marking the Behavior: When the dog does the right behavior, and we say YESSS, we call this “Marking”. (Your dog “hit the mark”).
I am told I have to issue a warning here. If your dog tries to bite you; if they jump at your face, then clearly you need professional help. (Your dog could use some help as well) Contact me! (Seriously, did I need to tell you that?)
You have now taught your dog to “Look at Me”.
This is the first step to teaching them to focus on you and not on other environmental issues.
A dog that focusses on his owner is learning respect, obedience and control.